Blurryface

Some (or most) music critics and Wikipedia authors tend to write a lot of numbers when describing music - how many album copies sold, how big were the ratings, and how critics met the album. I usually skip all this because it's useless. How can one describe musical creation with numbers? Unless it is mp3 file, of course.

Wading through all these facts about when the band was founded, which label signed it, and how many concerts they did, you can still find very interesting stories and facts. I want to share one of that. Or Twenty One to be more precise.

There was a play by Arthur Miller called All My Sons. This story talks about a businessman, or supplier, who decided to sell defective parts for the US army during the world war. As a result of that, twenty-one pilots died. That man did it because he needed to make some profits to feed his family. He found himself in a choice between a verified good future for his own family or the possible death of people he didn't know. A young guy from Ohio, Tyler Joseph, considered this story a deep and mindful example of what kind of decisions people need to make sometimes. Moral dilemma. This guy, Tyler, later set up the music band called Twenty One Pilots.

Before knowing that story, I didn't pay a lot of attention to Twenty One Pilots. I heard their most famous song - Stressed Out - and I felt the same in a way, but I didn't quite like such kind of delivery. When I read the story, I felt there is much more in this music and its creator. I started to feel something familiar in these tunes and words.

The big reason why we like some pieces of art (like music) is the natural ability to project our feelings or own context into it quite well. I adore but do not really deeply like jazz music. I know how complex it might be, and I like to read stories about that, I even know lots of famous jazz musicians. But I don't listen to it on repeat and sometimes cannot even distinguish one from another. That's not because I'm dumb, it is more because I grew up in a very different social context. As for Twenty One Pilots - seems like our contexts are not so drastically different.

While I was growing up, all my surroundings told me to become a grown-up, start earning money, and stand strong on the ground. All life goals for people around were quite small and measurable. Life was kinda boring and I knew there is something outside this box. That's why when I listen to Stressed Out - I feel it. I can understand it. My dreams were always much bigger than the place I was born in.

Another thing that was quite familiar to me was second-guessing myself. For a long time making decisions was so complicated to me. Every time I knew I was doing it right, I second-guessed it. I took additional time to analyze it more deeply, compare it with something else, and irritate everyone around with my uncertainty. Time always showed that the first decision was right. I think the roots of that are described by the song Midwest Indigo quite well. This song and video show coldness and practicality over the feelings and support.

Life is much more than a list of things to do, checkboxes of school homework, numbers of income, or wiped-up floors in every room. All those things are important, but probably should not be raised to an absolute of all importance, especially for growing-up kids like the characters in the Stressed Out video. or like us, grown up in a cold hard environment, but still asking questions and dreaming big.

Have you noticed that blurry dirt on the hands and neck of Tyler in concerts and videos? This is Blurryface - an extravagant representation of an inner feeling of uncertainty, being not fully sure of himself and his deeds. Fears and worries. Something which does not define you, but affects your life. Something which cannot be measured by numbers or life events. It is there and you need to know it. When you know something - it's easier to influence that, fix that. Twenty One Pilot music shows me my blurryface and its roots.

It took me much more time to write this post. I second-guessed it for weeks. Isn't it ironic?